By Paulius Jurasius, Founder of JANMI Soft Tissue Therapy, a leading provider of specialist therapy services with a proven track record of helping clients overcome Tech Neck and other musculoskeletal issues.
The Hard Truth: You Were Never Meant to Look Like This
Let’s get straight to it—our ancestors would be disgusted.
If you could time-travel a Homo erectus to the present day, they wouldn’t marvel at our skyscrapers or self-driving cars. No. They’d take one look at our posture and assume we were all seriously injured.
And honestly, they wouldn’t be wrong.
Welcome to Tech Neck, the modern human plague—a condition so ridiculous that we willingly gave ourselves spinal dysfunction just to doom-scroll social media.
But how did this happen? Why did evolution, which fine-tuned us for survival, fail to prevent us from turning into slouched-over desk goblins?
Buckle up because we’re going deep into human evolution, and it’s going to get ugly.
Step One: The Four-Legged Problem (Pre-Human Era, 400+ Million Years Ago)
Before we even get to our Neanderthal cousins, we need to address the biggest anatomical mistake evolution made—standing up.
When we were four-legged, we didn’t have Tech Neck problems. Our spines were horizontal, and gravity wasn’t working against our necks. Our heads sat comfortably on top of our vertebral columns, like perfectly balanced camera stabilisers.
But then—we got ambitious.
Step Two: Standing Up Was Our First Mistake (Homo Erectus, 2 Million Years Ago)
Once we decided to walk upright, everything changed.
Our spine, which used to be a nice, straight beam, suddenly had to curve to absorb the impact of bipedal movement. That was already bad news for our lower backs (hello, chronic lumbar pain), but the real disaster was yet to come.
As we stood upright, our heads became top-heavy structures sitting on a vertical pole. This meant that keeping them balanced required constant muscular effort—and if anything in our alignment changed, our neck muscles had to compensate instantly.
For the next million years or so, this wasn’t an issue because we were constantly moving, hunting, and using full-body mechanics.
And then… we invented sitting.
Step Three: The Invention of Sitting (10,000 Years Ago, Agriculture Ruined Everything)
Early humans had strong, flexible bodies, moving like animals in the wild. But when agriculture arrived, we started staying still for long hours, planting crops, and working with tools.
And sitting? Oh, that was the beginning of our spinal downfall.
But even the ancient farmers had it better than us—they still moved more than modern desk workers. Their work was physically demanding, and they weren’t hunched over screens for hours.
Then came industrialisation, chairs, and desks. That’s when we stopped moving altogether.
Step Four: The Real Catastrophe—Smartphones (2007 to Present Day)
If the agricultural revolution was the first hit to our posture, the smartphone revolution was the nail in the coffin.
Let’s talk physics. Your head weighs around 5kg when properly aligned. That’s already a lot for your neck to support.
Now, if you tilt your head forward just 15 degrees (which happens every time you glance at your phone), the weight increases to 12kg.
At 30 degrees, your head exerts 18kg of force.
At 60 degrees, it’s a whopping 27kg of pressure on your cervical spine.
💀 That’s like carrying a seven-year-old child on your neck—ALL DAY.
Your upper traps, levator scapulae, and deep cervical muscles are not built for that level of continuous stress. Over time, they become chronically overworked, stiff, and riddled with trigger points.
And this, my dear modern human, is how we went from elite hunter-gatherers to chronically stiff, pain-ridden posture disasters.
How to Fix Your Tech Neck Before You Become a Human Question Mark
You might be thinking, “Okay, Paulius, I get it—I’m doomed. What now?”
Well, the good news is—I can fix it.
At JANMI Specialist Therapy, I’ve developed a Tech Neck Treatment Protocol designed to reverse this evolutionary disaster and restore your spine to its natural, pain-free state.
JANMI’s Tech Neck Treatment Protocol:
✅ Fascial Release for the Neck & Shoulders – Undoing years of tension and muscular knots in the traps, SCM, and suboccipitals.
✅ Trigger Point Therapy – Eliminating pain at the source, targeting deep muscular dysfunction.
✅ Postural Realignment & Joint Mobilisation – Restoring proper cervical and thoracic spine mechanics.
✅ Evolutionary Strength & Mobility Training – Teaching your body to hold itself upright, as nature intended.
Case Study: The CEO with the Spine of a Shrimp
A client (let’s call him James) came in with Tech Neck so bad that his head was permanently two inches forward, a common symptom of severe Tech Neck. He was 38 but had the cervical spine of an 80-year-old, experiencing chronic headaches, neck stiffness, and restricted breathing, all of which are typical consequences of Tech Neck.
💀 He was 38 but had the cervical spine of an 80-year-old.
💀 He had chronic headaches, neck stiffness, and his breathing was restricted.
After just 4 sessions of JANMI Specialist Therapy, his:
✅ Head returned to a near-natural position
✅ Neck pain was reduced by 70%
✅ Headaches disappeared completely
✅ Breathing improved as his chest opened up
Your body can recover—but you need to take action.
Your Call to Action: Save Your Spine Now
Let’s be honest—your Tech Neck isn’t going to fix itself.
You have two options:
❌ Continue slouching into oblivion and wait for permanent spinal damage.
✅ Book a JANMI Specialist Therapy session and restore your posture before it’s too late.
📍 London, Marylebone | Limited Appointments Available
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